May 19^th was one date I was waiting eagerly for. That would have been the day, when a book that caught the imagination of millions and the first of its kind to get main stream appreciation for a secret that so many speak of in hushed tones, was finally being released for general viewing. I was waiting to watch it because as a normal movie buff, I wanted to see how well a director can handle a well written and a much acclaimed book. Its June 3^rd today and there is still no sight of the movie anywhere in my country.

I feel alienated in my own nation these days. Here is a movie that is written, directed, produced and performed by Catholics, a movie that the pope himself is said to have seen, a movie that is running in Rome as well as in Israel but in Hyderabad its banned. It was banned 12hrs before its release here because the catholic community warned the govt of dire consequences if they approve and release the film. How is it not black mail? And why is the government yielding to this sort black mail?

It’s unfortunate that in a country of 1.2 billion people, the most powerful person is a Christian and following this precedent, the people of AP with its population of 100million have chosen another Christian to lead the state. Now, faith does not matter and it is a personal issue but at some level, where is respect for the people’s trust and mandate here?

I know of a hazar movies in Telugu where gods come down to the earth, drink alcohol, ogle at girls of the earth and there was never a word of protest from anyone here. Its humor and it is taken that way. I have seen instances of Ganesha being a part of witty one-liners but these same ministers never even uttered a word against it. But now, for this movie, there are scores of ministers who are taking a moral high ground and condemning it.

The issue at hand is not this movie but the general state of affairs here. A couple of days back a hard working English Professor from Hyderabad committed suicide and in his farewell note spoke about how this system has cheated him for 40yrs and how he has absolutely no interest in living in a nation that disowned him. He never distinguished between OC and BC students but from the age of 15 this man has been cheated every time because of these reservations. Now if some choose to call it cowardice, please feel free to do so and smirk at him, but the general feeling of most people who have to fight it out fair and square for survival here, are the same as that man’s.

In the last couple of weeks, my girlfriend’s been pissed at me because she believes I am running away from this country. She is angry at me because instead of slugging it out here and trying to contribute something to my nation, I am choosing the easy way out to lead a comfortable life in a foreign land. She is right. I am running away and I am not apologetic about it. I am being fucked here time after time and to the government, I belong to the last tier of the community for whom they care.

I cannot stop my car at a sensitive junction to let someone get off my car on a Friday Afternoon because this may lead to a jam and tempers can fly off. There is police everywhere and I don’t matter because there are protecting communal harmony! Parade Grounds, the largest public grounds in Hyderabad are full every Sunday with mass congregations to covert my own brothers! Do you ever find a guard to as much as regulate parking near temples of the holiest of festival days? Nah, our votes don’t matter so why should these babus waste time and personnel?

It’s frustrating at times to see so much oppression taking place. Some of my best friends follow faiths of their choice and this has never come in the way of our friendship. Never did any of us have any differences based on our faith and I am sure that is the case with millions of people in India. We are proud that we are a nation that has public holidays for celebrating festivals of 4 different faiths. That’s how we are and we are proud of that. But does it mean that the majority are the ones who have to get snubbed all the time?

Gujarat is a contentious issue and I don’t believe in those kinds of radical solutions like ethnic cleansing and stuff. But isn’t it a state’s major responsibility to maintain a sense of equality among the populace? Why should we get screwed because of small interest groups who lack education and survive because of corruption and brutal force? Why should my extended family, which for the first time has come together to enjoy a Saturday at the movies, be robbed of this experience due to personal agendas and vote bank politics?

I am glad am getting away from here. For a while I thought I could make a life out here but there seems no way for me but to “run away”. I am angry all the time these days. Reservations, pseudo secularism, and discrimination among brothers, moral policing, and personal agenda’s… it’s getting crazy. Even the community service initiative is not making me optimistic because every time there is someone or the other who questions my commitment and asks me why a simple problem like child labor and not AIDS or Women’s Right’s or Nature or some other issue? What I don’t get is how the fuck does it matter?

Maybe I am over reacting or maybe I am just taking things too seriously, but I am too pissed these days to even think rationally. And I guess only when I clear things up for myself and accept everything around me like the way it is will I get to be peaceful again. And I am still controlling my urge to look for a print online to download Da Vinci Code.

That’s what we have to say. The quota issue is not closed as long as justice is not served to the rightful. And in this case it’s the real people who – are loosing out big time – are RIGHT.

I have immense respect for our honorable Prime Minister and I will listen to everything that he will say on this subject because he himself has been an academician for a long time and I believe no one will understand the pain of students more than a professor. But sir, this is unacceptable. Your formula of increasing the seats is in no way going to have an impact of the true hardworking student.

You have only increased the scope of the problem and have in no way tried to solve it. The present trend of leaving the reserved seats empty will continue in premier institutions as long as there is no viable solution or formula implemented where the economically backward do get an admission to such institutions of high caliber and also provide them with financial assistance to afford whatever expenses are incurred.

At present we, as a part of Hyderabad Community Service, are working with a group of 100 young girls who are bright and who have been rescued from child labor. There are amazing at studies and if given an opportunity and assistance want to become doctors and engineers. Give them reservation. Give them place in government institutions.

Don’t test their knowledge through problems from Resnick & Haliday, give them a chance through the testing that you believe is right for a student who has studied in the circumstances that they have, and test them on the info that they have access to, and then show me if you face a protest.

Taking this issue in a different light – Is there a much deeper essence to this protest being allowed to drag on from so many days apart from what meets the eye. The possibilities can be many. Is the direction in which the public is taking an active part pre-emptive of things to come in the future?

For the first time in my life (I was still a small kid during the Mandal movement), I have seen democracy live and Kicking. Elections were but a routine, but these protests have sparked of a debate that is making an impact which if not killed due to intimidation and brutal force, this might be the single biggest achievement of a collective India in all its modern history.

If not for its policy or reforms, thanks to this one issue, the PM Manmohan Singh’s government has been successful in raising the level of public debate in this country to such a decibel that from now on, it will be difficult for any unpopular decision of the government, to go by the people without a clear mandate. Hats-off guys, you have just succeeded in waking up a dormant force – the force of public demonstrations against biased policy decisions.

But, the issue apart, it’s amazing to see the support these guys are getting right from their faculty to corporate houses. Apparently they now have a war-chest that can sustain this agitation for some time to come. Again, this is an indication that a true cause will never die because of trivial requirements.

To all who think we oppose reservations:

None of the forward castes oppose reservations and we think we need them in a country like INDIA! But these reservations should and must be allotted only to the economically backward people across castes and religions and the creamy rich who do belong to these backward castes should not benefit from such laws.

This is a common ideology across all the sections of people and students protesting the reservations and demanding Arjun Singh’s head. Is the above demand wrong? Look what’s happening in a fight for justice:

The markets plummeted by 800 points yesterday and the mood out here in the office is slightly on the heavier side. Most of our clients will loose out on good money thanks to the new FDI investment rules by the honorable FM that may cap the limit for foreign investors and also because of the proposed hike in the tax to be paid by them. The big picture is green all right but at some level the concern for the small man over rides all these investment strategies for multi-million dollar enterprises.

34,000 Cr of market cap got washed off yesterday due to the bears finally taking the much awaited plunge. It’s a natural phenomenon and this was bound to happen but going by the age old adage in markets – every penny made by X is a penny lost by Y. The proportion of “middle class small investor” in the X category is roof high this time.

The worst hit by the fall is the small man, people who have invested in blue chip mutual funds that promised 100% returns. Most were about to cash out because the academic season is about to start and most of them need money to pay their kids fees. Most of them have lost around 10-15% of the expected amount. Tough luck some say. Irresponsibility is what I feel.

This free fall still shows how sentiment driven our market is. Till yesterday we boasted how technical based our market has become and that now fundamentals will be the basis on which we will invest but one ambiguous signal and there is panic across the board. And the fall right after Reliance IPO opening makes it murkier.

“Differentiated Responsibility” is necessary when dealing with the wealth of a few million middle class employees. Bull’s and Bears will run the show and it’s the pigs like “the small investors” who get butchered time and again, but let it not be because of an idiotic lapse of our own elected government. When the powers to be can be so responsible towards huge multinational conglomerates, why not have a common minimum responsibility towards our own people.

Life is tough, definitely. And that’s the way it should be. But progress and development must make it that little easy. Just a little bit. There should be a small cushion that allows the populace to get on with their lives, without the one extra worry due to the polity that they have chosen. It’s not Herculean and the people in power know it, its just execution in spirit and that’s where we have been stumbling for the last 50yrs and we still are right now.

You lack individuality? You are not focused, obsessed with shit? What are you?

WTF

Dear Predecessors,

What is it that you cannot understand about us? What is it about us that you find so repelling that you have go on urging us to confirm to the belief’s that are probably a billion yrs old, don’t at all sit fit to the present times, are cumbersome and foolish and in all practicality a sheer waste of time and creativity?

What is that about virtues of times long gone that you harp so much about when we don’t identify with them least of all understand them? Why should we agree with you when the times are changing so rapidly and when keeping track of trends requires the fruits of today’s latest technologies? Why should we submit to your grey judgment when multi-colored results all laid in front of us in all the available shades? Why?

Sir’s & Madame’s, the times have truly changed and so have the philosophies of the generations that you see or you will see. No longer will we be judged on the clothes that we wear nor on the vices we perfect. No longer will the custom education determine what knowledge we wish to absorb nor will the strict adherence to uniformity determine our character or persona. We will charter all the courses that life will place in front of us and only after testing all water’s will we choose the one to dive. And rest assured the one you think to be the best flat board may just turn out to be the last one we may choose.

Seriously, yes. We are kind of junkies in real life. Yes, there’s no sense and coherence in most of our actions. You may find us at the nearest Irani café with a ½ chai talking India’s nuclear program and the same night at the swankiest of pubs idling away with the desi versions of dumb blonde’s with carnal motives. You will find us in empty studio’s screening 1971 French classic’s and then at a latest Telugu release of the megastar talking about his skill at dancing @ 55. You will find us at jogger’s strips at 5 am on most days having bumped into us at the only Biriyani joint that serves at 2 am in the night. And let it be known that there are no such things as banned substances in our lives.

Dickens, rand; Asimov and Krishnamurthy are integral as are J K Rowling and Arthur Hailey. The Harvard Monthly review is through back channels; nevertheless it shares time with Dalal Street. Digressing the latest Reliance IPO comes as naturally as arguing about the cons of a restricted V10’s as opposed to enhanced V8’s. So when we are able to choose our likes and dislikes, why the apathy to our decisions.

The above piece is not aimed at my parents who have been more than supportive about my decisions but rather at all those incorrigibly senile “elders” who proclaim to be the ‘men of the world’ which gives them the credence to guide me in my journey of life. You people never get it do you???

Personally, I ain’t no wonder kid or this over-achieving on the director’s merit list in all sems grad. I had a good life till now and have enjoyed it thoroughly and realistically I am extremely comfortable with what I take home right now. I choose to pursue my dreams in a foreign land mainly due to the banality of life here and the regular lusterless routine that’s choking the life out of me. Yes it’s no Kellogg’s but I don’t care! To my ability and my hard work (or to the lack of it) I am happy with what I have and I plan to do my best. And in this journey I ain’t need no advice or guidance from all you wise men.

And one last thing. This trend is currently in vogue and it is the way it’s going to be forever now. The younger lot is pretty individualistic and they have the power to make decisions. Informed through their own channels but they are clever. No offense to your experience but its better they choose their own paths with their own doing. And rest assured, the blame game had its full stop with your own generation.

Note:The above outburst is a result of a meeting and an unwarranted career advice by a self professed “accomplished man” who spent 4 decades in Indian Administrative Service, 3 of which were in the permit raj. He never went through an appraisal, bossed over hapless individuals and must have been used to advising loads of helpless youngsters who are left with no choice but to listen to him because of his position of power. Well, he met his nemesis today but it also left me pretty sour due to the kind of ruthless behavior he displayed he has towards the present generation and their attitude towards life.